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filler@godaddy.com
Signed in as:
filler@godaddy.com
Sometimes there seems to be a misconception that counsellors and coaches have reached a specific point of fulfillment in their lives. This fallacy also includes the notion that most counsellors and coaches have experienced the personal growth needed to live a fulfilled, blissful life in order to be of help and service to others. That theory could not be more wrong. The truth of the matter is that helpers are helping others, but all the while doing the same kind of work themselves behind the scenes. Further, I believe we can learn more about ourselves during client interactions and personal relationships than anywhere else.
Of course, the perfectionist in me wishes that I could show up for clients fully healed, and having done all the work needed to feel fully self-actualized. But the truth is that we are all human and no one is perfect – myself included!
I also believe it is important for clients to understand my journey and see that I too have struggled with my own self-development, as well as trying to heal past traumas by putting in my own therapeutic work. My hope is that this transparency will shed light on my innate vulnerabilities, that I too have had to work on ways to foster change in my life.
Unbeknownst to me until several years ago, the theme that dominated much of my life was that I was not worthy of love, I wasn't worthy of loving myself, and I most definitely was not worthy of receiving love. This gap had a profound effect on my relationships, how I treated myself, and my deep-rooted belief that the only way that someone would love me was to be of service to them. Otherwise known as being ardently co-dependent!
I went through much of my life not having a real sense of self, and for a very long time I was OK with that. You don't know what you don't know right? Or at least I thought I was, as I didn't truly know the feelings that lingered was an inner child desperately crying out to be safe, seen, soothed and secure. These needs led to an A-type overachiever, with perfectionist tendencies, and a strong desire to achieve a high level of success in my career. The fruits of my labor truly paid. I was a successful Investment Associate within the Wealth Management field and those around me saw a young woman that was extremely confident, outgoing, and always ready for a challenge. But the truth of the matter was that I was never happy and wore armour so thick I didn’t truly feel much at all. I wasn’t in tune with my personal values. I struggled with boundaries, anxiety, authenticity and my self-esteem became extremely low. I spent much of my life not truly feeling my feelings. I numbed, avoided, and distracted at every turn, all the while appearing confident on the outside.
I continued to live this way until I became pregnant with my son in 2016. Somewhere deep in my soul I knew that creating a life within me would be the catalyst for a drastic alteration to the path of my own life. I intuitively knew that this was my opportunity to begin to face fears within myself, and heal negative patterns that had existed in my family for generations. Shortly after the birth of my son I started to pay attention and noticed that the path I was on was seriously wrong. I did not feel safe in my body and I struggled immensely with shame, self-loathing, deep-sadness, and extreme loneliness. Loneliness that I would later learn did not come from a lack of connection with others, but myself.
I took a deep dive into self-help books and sought out advice from friends who were in stable relationships, and had themselves put in work to become a better version of themselves. I started looking more closely at my spirituality, and practicing gratitude for the blessings that the universe has provided me. I started working with a therapist, and a counsellor, and realized that while many people may have influenced my life choices and caused me trauma, I had to accept the fact that I didn’t know what I didn’t know at the time. Throughout this process, I learned that the only person who could be truly held accountable for relieving my pain and suffering was me.
That's when the real inner work began and my call to help others on their path was born.
Fast forward to my current life where I’ve relocated to beautiful North Vancouver to be closer to my ex-husband. (yes, you read that correctly) I have followed the call of blending my skills as a counsellor with my experience in the investment field where I wore many hats, integrated powerful coaching skills in both managing people and counselling clients on growing and protecting their wealth. I believe deeply in transparency and I hope this will help build your confidence in my holistic work so that we can journey together into being a better version of yourself.
Somewhere in the middle of the story mentioned above I also discovered a connection to spirituality. It started in a forest as I was hiking with a girlfriend, and a bird was loudly squawking. For some reason as we traversed around the base of a mountain that bird kept following us. I quickly became intensely aware of the bird, and was fixated on finding it and discovered it was a raven. My friend Riley asked me if I watched for signs and knew what a raven spirit animal meant. Of course I was like WTF are you talking about? Her explanation and my later research on a ravens appearance in ones life literally blew my mind. My whole body lit up like this message was divinely meant for me. I was already deep in introspection around how I was living my life, and had an intuitive knowing that the path I was on wasn’t right for me. The research confirmed for me even more that I was deeply entrenched in a spiritual awakening, and great transformation was ahead of me. We booked a session with a medium for a couple of months down the road, and two days later I found a four leaf clover bending over to pick something up. The signs just kept showing up for me.
It was just the beginning of beautiful and painful path for me where there were a lot of endings and new beginnings. I decided that life was far too short to keep living disconnected, unhappy and unhealthy, but I had an ominous feeling something was coming. I just didn’t know what, and it turned out to be worse than I expected. My dad suddenly passed away shortly after this feeling. During my grief, I started seeing feathers everywhere and following the signs that my dad was still with me and believed in guidance from the universe to keep going down the spiritual path. The timing of the visit to the medium confirmed everything I knew to be true but was still grappling with. My dads favourite song was by a band called Trooper and you may not know them, but you’d surely know the song. “We’re here for a good time, not a long time.” So not only did we play it at his funeral, I’ve used it as a mantra to continue to pursue a life where I am truly and authentically myself, one where I live every day to the fullest and remember that life is short. The feather is my inspiration, and I’ve got one tattooed on my side with the saying “life is short” is latin (Vita Brevis) as a reminder of why I chose to change my life in the first place.
Now a self-proclaimed spiritual gal, I seek guidance from the universe in my regular meditation practice, yoga, energy healing, sound healing sessions, forest bathing and many other modalities. I've learned to tap into my intution and integrate my connection to sprirt in work with my clients. I offer a Holistic Therapeutic approach utilizing Counselling, Coaching, Energy & Sound Healing based in beautiful North Vancouver.
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